I (heart) Andy Rooney

I hate yelp.

I know I’m getting old when I start sentences with “I hate..”, especially if the object of contempt is something cool that other people like, such as yelp or facebook (both highly detestable things). These days I try my best not to be too much of a hater, since it’s no fun and requires a lot of energy. At my age, I really need to conserve as much energy as possible.

Yelp though, contributes to the over-popularity of an old, much-treasured sandwich haunt of mine. My aunt used to have a restaurant down the street, and I have fond memories from my elementary school days of walking up to the next block with my mom and grabbing a sandwich for under $2. Nostalgia IS tough on me.

Seeking to recapture those memories of perfectly seasoned pate, pickled daikon and carrot, and warm, crusty bread, I drive to Saigon Sandwich. It's one of the few places that also offers a childhood favorite- a soft, steamed meat and egg-filled bun called banh bao. I go here whenever I’m in the neighborhood, but as I don’t live nearby, I tend to think of the visit as a special occasion. Upon approaching the storefront though, I see a terrifically long line. I think to myself, “Why are there so many (goddamn) people here?”

This is where the scourge that is yelp comes in. Yelp spawned this line. To date, Saigon Sandwich has over 1300 reviews on yelp. They now serve TOFU sandwiches to appeal to the non-Vietnamese (hint: white) patrons that insist on a vegetarian option for a food that typically does not have a vegetarian option. (It would be like asking for vegetarian ramen. Ugh. Why even bother?) I would like to meet the first person to review my banh mi shop and ask them why they unleashed such a plague on us old-timers.

In truth, I’ve encountered an incident such as today’s before. Usually, I just wait patiently or I chatter to a friend that’s with me in line until it’s my turn to order. But today was particularly irritating. There are now hipsters that frequent the sandwich shop. They come predictably with fix-gear bike, beard, skinny jeans, and neon frame sunglasses. (Seriously?) One of them walked right into me on his way out while on his cell phone and did not utter even a non-committal “excuse me”. (Did I mention he ordered two TOFU sandwiches?)

If this is the kind of riff-raff that Banh Mi Saigon is going to attract, I should just stop going. I should also report that there was only ONE other Vietnamese customer in line. It used to be that non-Vietnamese folks didn’t even know what a Vietnamese sandwich was. Now, I have to suffer hairy hipsters and their fanny packs re-adjusted to be “shoulder packs” shoving their way through cramped, literal-hole-in-the-wall sandwich counters in the TL.

But times they are a-changin’. Sandwich lines grow. Vegetarians get their way. I suppose that yelp has helped keep this well-loved, tiny sandwich shop in business and I no longer have to explain to people that indeed, Vietnamese people make sandwiches. Colonialism left a delicious mark on the local cuisine.

Until yelp stops enabling ruthless promotion of all my favorite places, I at least have an excuse to rant like my beloved Andy Rooney.

Hallelujah.

It is Thunderstorming in San Francisco

Yes, thunderstorming. Now, there are things you should do and things you shouldn't do when it is thunderstorming.

One thing you should not do is ride the bus when you're nauseous to the point of being violently ill. This will inevitably cause you to vomit in the stairwell of the bus, all of the other passengers will be horrified, promptly exit, and the bus will have to be taken out of service. Everyone (including that decently nice Vietnamese girl just trying to get to work) will be mad at you.

Something that is great to do when it's thunderstorming, however, is sit inside at Stella Pastry in North Beach and enjoy dessert and an espresso. Please allow me to set the scene:

It is dark outside. You've just made it indoors after skipping through the starting rain and it seems you've just barely escaped what is coming. Suddenly, the sky opens up and torrents- no sheets- of rain begin falling from the night sky. You are so thankful to be inside amidst the warm glow of the numerous display cases filled with pastry.

You will try one of their Italian specialties and soon thereafter, determine their cannoli is almost perfection with its dense creamy filling and hard crumbly shell. You will lick your fingers as you sip your meaty espresso out of one of those comically tiny cups that always make you chuckle a little. (You are a giant.)

Outside, the raindrops continue to come crashing down onto the pavement as you sit behind the large cafe window, and people headed down the street rush past you looking wet-- and miserable. But you have found sanctuary. And although it is not the enduringly graceful Saint Patrick's church at Jessie Square where you very briefly considered converting to Catholicism so as to one day be married there, Stella is an institution and it protects you with its sweet, old-world goodness. Just think of a young (strapping) Marlon Brando yelling at the bottom of a staircase, "Stella!"

The photo is from Stella's website, and yes, they do look that good.

Tacos and Martial Arts or How to Freeze Your Butt Off in the Quest for Chinese-ish Tacos

In the mood for tacos? Absolutely! And I have been since the other Tuesday night at the Dengue Fever show, except on Tuesday I was craving the standard favorite- a juicy carnitas taco (or maybe a fish taco). It is now Friday afternoon. My proclivity has veered somewhat toward a slightly different direction. I'm looking for something sweeter perhaps, something with a tang? I almost went to John's again for a kimchee taco, but I opted instead to check out a new offering.

It was cold today, or rather it still is cold today and I am dressed for yesterday. I stood in line for approximately 15 minutes, ordered, and waited another 15 minutes. All the while the wind whooshed through the alleyways between the high-rises in the Financial District seemingly aimed right at me and my mostly spandex tights. Ah well, nothing ventured nothing gained. Often with pleasure comes sacrifice, or something like that.

So Kung Fu Tacos, the taco truck I trekked to for lunch today, makes cute little tacos with a Chinese/general Asian twist. The crowd in line was young and were mostly hipsterish-professional types. I am really going to just advocate having Kung Fu tacos for lunch for the overall experience and not so much for the actual food. But the tacos are good. I had the Asian Asada and the Roasted Duck. The asada comes with what they're calling an Asian relish, onions, a little bit of hoisin sauce and decent-quality chunks of beef. It is a taco of well-balanced flavors. The roasted duck is appropriately sweet, comes with mango and cilantro. The duck is succulent, lovingly greasy. You get darling little wedges of lime for your tacos on the side. Come to think of it, everything about this experience was kind of "darling": the tacos, the people in their bright plaids, limited-edition sneakers and little knit hats, the fat alley cats (yes, alley cats in the alley) roaming around hunting for dropped morsels, the small truck tucked away at the end of the lane set against a backdrop of red brick. Just adorable.

And the portions. The portions were adorable. By adorable, I mean small. I was hungry and I ordered two tacos. There are no pictures of the tacos because: 1) I was too hungry to take pictures and gobbled them up very quickly and 2) I kinda forgot my camera. ;) In retrospect, I should've ordered three tacos, but there's really no point in regret, is there?

They also serve a dessert banana caramel empanada made by El Porteno for $2.00 which is a great and delicious deal. And because I have a sweet tooth (oh, so sweet), of course, I ordered one, which was well worth it since my appetite had not quite been sated. I would go back to Kung Fu Tacos if the truck is close by and I want a pre-lunch appetizer. I would not however, hike up a hill to them and arrive hungry/slightly out of breath.

Take a leisurely walk right before noon around the Financial District. Bring your coat with you. Pass by Saint Mary's square, which is a lovely little square (another adorable thing for the day) and find yourself at the Kung Fu Taco truck in the parking lot or at the end of an alley. Stand for a while. Order multiple tacos. Enjoy.

http://kungfutacos.com

This blog should be renamed "How to Make Me Fat" or "One Half of Ex Asian Couple Monthly" Haha...

Ah, LA, how at times I miss thee. Your ability to satisfy my ever insatiable stomach/hunger (emotional void perhaps?) has so far been unmatched, even though I grew up in San Francisco, one of a few acclaimed eating cities in the country. Perhaps it is the sheer volume of offerings available in the greater Los Angeles area; I mean, consider all the versions-in-mini of locations in the world that exist in LA and Orange County: Little Tokyo, Koreatown, Little Armenia, Little Ethiopia, Thai Town, Little Saigon, etc., etc. And then of course, there are all the offerings available very late at night and at some places, all night. What does San Francisco have on that?

So far? Not much. At least as far as I can tell at the moment. But I am remaining open, ready and willing to be introduced to the myriad of delicious surprises that San Francisco undoubtedly harbors. There have been many stops so far on the "Places-to-Eat-Discovery-Train" since April 2009, but it's been a while since I've felt compelled to talk about them and a lot has happened since then... Now that I'm back in the city (by the bay) however, a renewed sense of curiosity/discovery/enthusiasm or whatever has taken over me, and all of these interest-piquing places of fulfillment are receiving visits from me (or in some cases, re-visits).

John's Snack and Deli is for instance, one delightful surprise all wrapped up in unassuming, small packaging. Lots of folks know about John's. Lots of folks have known about John's for years. Lots of folks who work in the Financial District have known about John's. I have actually worked in the Financial District for some years now.

But I only recently went to John's. If it is of any consequence, I have walked by it probably at least a hundred times. John's is basically a convenience store (Surprise!!!), and so it is easy to overlook, but it has been serving Korean food out of the storefront for a while. They are best known for their made-fresh-to-order kimbap, (Korean maki rolls) and their kimchee tacos (an idea appropriated a la Kogi Taco truck from LA). I know the Korean food is better in LA, I know there is a seemingly limitless array of Korean-food choices in LA, and I know that a great portion of these places are open til 3:00am. But damnit, this is not LA. John's kimchee tacos are good, however unoriginal, and I can get them for lunch for less than $3.00 a piece at a location only a few blocks away. It's a small, family-run business that, in its character and lack of pretention, is very of the city. Sometimes I just have to be thankful for what I have. And I like eating lunch out of a convenience store.

http://www.snackanddeli.com

They also have a great web name.