Monday, August 9, 2010

I (heart) Andy Rooney

I hate yelp.

I know I’m getting old when I start sentences with “I hate..”, especially if the object of contempt is something cool that other people like, such as yelp or facebook (both highly detestable things). These days I try my best not to be too much of a hater, since it’s no fun and requires a lot of energy. At my age, I really need to conserve as much energy as possible.


Yelp though, contributes to the over-popularity of an old, much-treasured sandwich haunt of mine. My aunt used to have a restaurant down the street, and I have fond memories from my elementary school days of walking up to the next block with my mom and grabbing a sandwich for under $2. Nostalgia IS tough on me.

Seeking to recapture those memories of perfectly seasoned pate, pickled daikon and carrot, and warm, crusty bread, I drive to Saigon Sandwich. It's one of the few places that also offers a childhood favorite- a soft, steamed meat and egg-filled bun called banh bao. I go here whenever I’m in the neighborhood, but as I don’t live nearby, I tend to think of the visit as a special occasion. Upon approaching the storefront though, I see a terrifically long line. I think to myself, “Why are there so many (goddamn) people here?”


This is where the scourge that is yelp comes in. Yelp spawned this line. To date, Saigon Sandwich has over 1300 reviews on yelp. They now serve TOFU sandwiches to appeal to the non-Vietnamese (hint: white) patrons that insist on a vegetarian option for a food that typically does not have a vegetarian option. (It would be like asking for vegetarian ramen. Ugh. Why even bother?) I would like to meet the first person to review my banh mi shop and ask them why they unleashed such a plague on us old-timers.


In truth, I’ve encountered an incident such as today’s before. Usually, I just wait patiently or I chatter to a friend that’s with me in line until it’s my turn to order. But today was particularly irritating. There are now hipsters that frequent the sandwich shop. They come predictably with fix-gear bike, beard, skinny jeans, and neon frame sunglasses. (Seriously?) One of them walked right into me on his way out while on his cell phone and did not utter even a non-committal “excuse me”. (Did I mention he ordered two TOFU sandwiches?)


If this is the kind of riff-raff that Banh Mi Saigon is going to attract, I should just stop going. I should also report that there was only ONE other Vietnamese customer in line. It used to be that non-Vietnamese folks didn’t even know what a Vietnamese sandwich was. Now, I have to suffer hairy hipsters and their fanny packs re-adjusted to be “shoulder packs” shoving their way through cramped, literal-hole-in-the-wall sandwich counters in the TL.

But times they are a-changin’. Sandwich lines grow. Vegetarians get their way. I suppose that yelp has helped keep this well-loved, tiny sandwich shop in business and I no longer have to explain to people that indeed, Vietnamese people make sandwiches. Colonialism left a delicious mark on the local cuisine.

Until yelp stops enabling ruthless promotion of all my favorite places, I at least have an excuse to rant like my beloved Andy Rooney.

Hallelujah.